Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
