We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
