thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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