woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
