If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
