the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
