Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
