I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize