sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
