There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
