i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
