i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
