I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
