I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
