How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
