ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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