The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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