party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
