woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
