I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My breasts were aching with rage.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
