guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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