This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
