Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
