Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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