My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
