Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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