I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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