I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
