so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
