I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
