My room smells like vodka and shame
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
