Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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