I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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