Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize