Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
