Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
