We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
