If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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