Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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