Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize