Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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