god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
