I think my fart just growled at me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
