I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
