He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
