i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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