There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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