I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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