I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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