She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
