Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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