I will die if light touches me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
