so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
