I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
