Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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