I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
