Define "chronic" masturbator.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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