just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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