No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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