I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
