i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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