Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
