Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
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I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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