What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
