Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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