Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My first STD was from a foam party
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
