I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
