btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
