My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
